PM Carney Wows Trump with Fact Beaver

Danny Enright (2 minute read)

In an unexpected—and unusually informative—moment in the Oval Office today, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney introduced U.S. President Donald Trump to a unique member of his official entourage: The Fact Beaver.

The Fact Beaver, a Canadian government creation since 2019, is a puppet AI rodent engineered by a multidisciplinary team of Canadian scientists, statisticians, zoologists, linguists, ventriloquists, and taxidermists. The beaver’s role is to replace untruths with facts. 

During a media availability with President Trump and his cabinet, Prime Minister Carney remained mostly silent, sporting slightly parted lips and a static half-smile, while the Fact Beaver, perched on his right hand, provided reality-based clarifications, known as "facts".

“Ever since we started subsidizing Canada to the tune of $200 billion a year…” Trump began, before the beaver jumped in with a firm, “The U.S. does not subsidize Canada in any way.”

The President appeared briefly taken aback before chuckling, “Isn’t that the cutest thing!?” Turning to the rodent, he continued, “Well listen here, you cute little guy, I’m talking about how much more we buy from you than you do from us.”

The beaver responded—with a slightly muffled voice as Carney stared ahead with a tense, partially opened mouth—“Canada’s trade surplus with the U.S. is $35 billion, and $90 billion of that is the oil we sell you at a discount. Exclude that oil, and Canada actually imports more U.S. goods than it exports.”

Senator JD Vance, agitated, interrupted: “And when are you going to say thank you? You haven’t once said thank you!”

To this, the Fact Beaver switched languages and replied with a chipper, “Bien sûr! Merci beaucoup Monsieur JD Vance et Monsieur Président Trump,” spoken in a distinct English accent that closely resembled Carney’s.

This charming moment softened the mood in the room. “Can you believe this little furry thing?! It even speaks French!” Trump exclaimed. “It’s got all these facts it just keeps blurting out! I gotta get me one of them.”

Later, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt clarified the President’s comments. “When the President said he wanted a rodent that fact-checked him, he meant he did not want one.  We don't need any Canadian fact-checking beavers!"