Danny Enright

By Danny Enright (2 minute read) President Donald Trump signed an executive order today calling on all levels of government and private enterprise to alter all disability-accessible elements in all buildings and public spaces, calling them “...one of the worst examples of preferential treatment in the history of the world”.   All levels of governments and other enterprises are being ordered to immediately redesignate accessible curb ramps at sidewalks as “Trolleys and Baby Carriage Inclines”, and building access ramps will now be really boring skateboard parks.  Automatic door openers will have the icon of a person in a wheelchair replaced with a picture of a “white man” using his hip to press the button.  This way, people will know how to use them to open the door while their hands are full, or if they’re simply too lazy to open it themselves.   Trump added  “They’re also a good thing to use so you don’t have to waste time figuring out which way the d...

(4 Minute Read)  Canada is building a military base along the land border between Canada and Greenland on Hans Island, in response to vague ongoing threats of Greenland being forcefully taken over by a belligerent adversary. Hans Island is a 1.3 km2 trivial island that was divided in 2022 between Denmark and Canada. This came after a decades’ long simmering stalemate between the two countries (See story “Canadian PM Drenches Danish PM in Maple Syrup in Hans Row”) After some sticky negotiations, Canada now has control of 0.767 km2 of this ice covered piece of lifeless granite.   General Teddy Poitier, spokesperson for the Canadian Department of National Defense (DND) said “Every 0.767 km2 of Canada is precious. We will not give up a single blade of grass to the enemy.” The general held up a tray of green lawn and continued, “By the way, we’re going to bring some grass to this island hellscape.” A battalion of 1000 soldiers and 450 support staff will live three 45-storey...